I have a confession to make. And, other than the millions of people surfing the internet and the two people reading my blog, please don’t tell anyone what I am about to share with you:
I don’t know much about basketball.
When I first moved to Utah, I thought the Jazz was a music group.
Not really. Actually, I know this much about basketball: when the ball swooshes into the net, that is good. You cheer. If the ball misses the basket, that is bad. Don’t cheer.
But that seems unsportsmanlike. During my sons’ last game I cheered for every basket made by both teams. I cheered for every good play. And every bad play. Because a bad play for one team is a good play for the other.
I’m sure the people around me thought I was crazy. Or that I knew nothing about basketball. Possibly true.
Or, I had a son playing on both teams. Against each other.
It helped that there were six teenage girls sitting with/near me. Three of them were there cheering for my 17 year old’s team. The others were cheering for my 16 year old. Some of them were polite enough to be cheering for both.
My favorite part of the game was when my 16 year old went over to the opposing team and was trash talking their coach. Who also happened to be his dad. The same person who pays his car insurance. And provides a roof over his head. And signed him up for this Jr. Jazz team. (Oh, wait. That was me. I was hoping he’d learn how to play the saxophone.)
Or, maybe father and son were just discussing the weather.
But there was trash talk on the court. My boys said things to each other like “Your mother dresses you funny.”
And, “Yeah, well your mom wears combat boots.”
Okay. They didn’t say any of that. That would be lame. And there were teenage girls watching.
The bright side was that my son won. But my son also lost. And the difference was only two points. So it was an exciting game.
Which is not the adjective I would use to describe my feelings for science fair projects. Even though I know a lot more about them than basketball. Because to date, I have supervised at least 10 science fair experiments.
When I got home from the game, my 12 year old daughter was working on her science fair board. Her topic was: which ingredients will dissolve the fastest in warm, boiling, and ice water.
But I can also tell you under what conditions bread will mold the fastest, which candy bars people prefer, which foods contain the most sugars, which contain the most fats, which cereals contain the most iron, if there really is a difference in Kool-Aid flavors, if sleep deprivation affects memory, if the color of a candle affects how fast it will burn, and which laundry detergent is the best at getting out stains.
I think I should get the Nobel Prize in Science for having such knowledge. And you should also get an award for reading that long list.
But instead, I’ll show you what happens to a gingerbread house when mom is not looking.
Ftr, it used to be adorned with candy. But now, it’s only got three pieces.
If I can just determine the quantifiable decay rate of it’s carbohydrate structure, I’d have a Nobel Prize winning science experiment.
Do you think I can get the Jazz to play the musical number at the award ceremony?
Which son won?
It does not matter whether they won or lost, it’s how they played the game.
(The 17 year old.)
Hilarious. And the same mysterious thing happens to our gingerbread houses too! So strange…
So, I want to know. Which boy, oops I mean team, was my daughter cheering for?
She was a non-discriminating cheerer. She cheered for both boys–I mean teams. (Most of the girls did.)