Life in the Highlands

Our can opener used to be haunted. At random times of the day it would whir. All on it’s own. NOBODY would be in the kitchen.

Nobody but the friendly ghost whose name rhymes with Jasper. That’s what we called him. Because if we had a ghost in our house, we wanted him to be friendly.

The ghost whose name rhymes with Jasper would also blow open our back door. The door would open on it’s own. NOBODY would be there. We had to keep the door locked all the time just to keep it closed. At least, that’s what I told the kids when they would go out in the backyard to play.

To solve the noisy can opener problem, my husband put a piece of plastic between the lever of the can opener and the button that makes it whir. This keeps gravity, or “Jasper,” from dropping the lever onto the button. The poor can opener is now silent– unless it is being used by a living, breathing human.

We also replaced our back French door with a sliding one. No matter how hard the wind blows, or “Jasper” pushes on it, the door no longer opens on its own.

We thought we were finished with this ghost business. But now, when you turn on the shower or flush the toilet in our master bathroom, the pipes howl. Loudly.

Is this “Jasper’s” way of saying “hi” or is this revenge for locking him out of the house?

Most likely it’s more plumbing problems.

Very expensive plumbing problems.

Now that’s scary.

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