Or: I Love to Sew. Really, I do.
If you’ve ever had to sew a patch on a scout uniform, you know it can be difficult. Here are some simple steps to make the job quick and easy:
Step 1.) Thread the sewing machine. Realize you can’t thread the sewing machine because, after searching through your 50 different colors of thread, you don’t have one that matches the patch. Run (or drive) to the nearest sewing store to buy thread. Now thread sewing machine.
Step 2.) Unthread your sewing machine because you forgot to thread the bobbin. Thread the bobbin.
Step 3.) Rethread your sewing machine.
Step 4.) Being careful not to prick your finger, pin the patch onto the vest or shirt in the desired location.
Step 5.) After you prick your finger, try not to swear or use bad language. I’m pretty sure it’s against the Scout Oath or Law or something. Check your medical records to find out how long it’s been since your last tetanus shot. Try not to get blood on the patch.
Step 6.) After you get blood on the patch, use red fabric paint to make a design on the patch to hide the bloodstain.
Step 7.) Sew the patch onto the uniform.
Step 8.) Use a seam ripper to remove the newly sewn seams, now that you realize the patch is in the wrong spot.
Step 9.) Repeat steps 4-7, making sure the patch is in the right spot.
Step 10.) Repeat step 8 because, this time, the patch is crooked.
Step 11.) Go to the store, again. Buy iron-on adhesive. Apply adhesive to patch. Iron the patch on the shirt or vest.
See how easy that was!
