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Mostly Gone, Which Is the Same as Somewhat Here

December 6, 2009 by Life in the Highlands

Does it look like a ghost town around here? Did the sheriff vacate the premises and allow the outlaws/spammers to take over?

I think I just saw a tumbleweed blow by.

So, I haven’t written a post for about a month. In my defense, your honor, I have been doing lots of behind the blog stuff.

For instance,

  • I changed my blog’s background. Now it takes hours for the page to load. (But it looks pretty.) Has it finished loading, yet? I am so sorry. (Did I mention that it looks pretty?)
  • I added an About Life in the Highlands page. Read it, if you dare. One might say it’s slightly not boring, and goes well with cheese.
  • I turned on the snow. The other reason you are still waiting for the page to load. (But it looks pretty.) And I feel like a superhero because I can CONTROL THE WEATHER.
  • I updated my About Me page. I’ve changed so much since I wrote the last version. By changed, I mean that I live in the same house that I’ve lived in for the last 14 years, and I’m doing the same things that I’ve been doing for the last 14 years. But I updated it anyway.
  • I joined the Facebook group “I was going to write a post, but ended up rearranging my sidebar.” Okay. Not a real FB group. But it should be. Because I do this ALL the time.

I also have been doing lots of unrelated to blogging stuff like,

  • not decorating the Christmas tree.

My daughter and her friends assembled the tree, put the lights on the tree, and decorated it–without my help!!! Yay! I might start enjoying Christmas again.

  • burning down the house.

Actually, it was just another science fair project. My daughter was setting fire to nuts to boil water. The house was never in any danger, but I sure hope the nuts had a good life insurance policy.

  • sewing up a storm. Because, did I mention, I can CONTROL THE WEATHER. By sewing. But I’ll tell you all about it in another post.

Which will hopefully be sooner than a month from now.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to rustle up some spammers and chase them out of town.

Posted in Trials of Blogging | Tagged , | 4 Comments »

And Puppy Makes Three

November 10, 2009 by Life in the Highlands

Any person of sound mind knows that if one looks up chaos in the dictionary, one would find the definition “the confused unorganized state existing when people, who already have two dogs, get another.”

Yes, yes we did.

But it’s not what you’re thinking.

Unless you’re thinking that we got a third dog. Then it’s exactly what you’re thinking.

“I promise, mom, I’ll clean my room and do my homework and scrub the bathrooms and eat all my vegetables and eat all your vegetables–if you’ll just let me keep him.”

Okay, nobody said that–since no amount of begging, pleading, or eating of vegetables would have convinced me to keep the dog.

Mostly because he wasn’t ours to keep. We were just puppy sitting Moseley (a seven month old yellow lab) for the weekend.

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We were puppy sitting Moseley because he is a special dog. Not special because he has a sweet spirit (although he does), but special because he is important. When his raisers go out of town, he has to be watched by special people (who have sweet spirits) rather than left in the backyard or kennel.

Moseley is a future Guide Dog for the Blind (GDB).

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And my daughter is hoping to raise a GDB puppy of her own. One of the requirements for getting your own GDB puppy to raise is to puppy sit other GDB puppies. So, while Moseley’s raisers were out of town, we were puppy sitting him.

Which, in case you haven’t been doing the math, meant we had three dogs, one cat, five kids, two adults and a whole lot of chaos.

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But everywhere we took Moseley (the grocery store, the mall, three hours of church), he was well-behaved and accident free. Good thing, too, since he drew a lot of attention wherever we went.

Overall, I’m putting the experience in the win column. My daughter learned first-hand the responsibility of taking care of a Guide Dog puppy. (You can read more about that here.) I learned that three dogs might sound like only one more than two, but, when you figure in the chaos and the square footage of our house, it’s more like 30.

The jury is still out on whether or not we will get a GDB puppy of our own. For now, we’ll just keep puppy sitting.

So bring on the chaos, I say. Calm is overrated, anyway.

Posted in Animal Farm | Tagged , , , , | 5 Comments »

The Great Pumpkin Doesn’t Live Here Anymore

October 21, 2009 by Life in the Highlands

For Halloween, our family loves to decorate. Notice this frightening display on our front porch:

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Scary. Doesn’t it give you chills? But wait. There’s more.

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Okay. These are not Halloween decorations. These are plants I haven’t watered since early September. My bad.

Usually, though, by this time of the year, I’ve replaced the dead plants with pumpkins and Halloween decorations. My 9 year old keeps asking when we are going to put out all that stuff. I figure if I hold her off one more week, I won’t have to decorate at all. It’s a good plan.

As an added bonus, I hear that kids don’t trick or treat at houses lacking Halloween paraphernalia. I’d like to test out that rumor. Kind of like my own personal version of MythBusters.

I’ll let you know how that goes.

I’ve also told my daughter that I plan on sending her out trick or treating early in the afternoon on Halloween, and then filling our candy dish with the candy she brings back. So not decorating means less kids trick or treating at our house, which means more candy for her. She should thank me for my lack of Halloween spirit.

Even though I haven’t decorated for Halloween, I have just about finished sewing all my kids’ costumes.

Mostly because my 13 year old is wearing the same poodle skirt I made for a 50’s dance number she did in Elementary school two years ago.

And my 9 year old’s magician costume only required that I sew a cape (which took about an hour), because we already had the hat, wand, and rabbit.

Two costumes down, one more to go: I still have to sew a zigzag stripe on a yellow t-shirt for a Charlie Brown costume. Never let it be said that I don’t go the extra mile for Halloween.

I also have to sew my daughter’s skirt for her band concert next week. She needs a black, plain, longish skirt. We looked at stores all over but couldn’t find a skirt that met all the criteria.

Finally, I told her we could sew one for her.

“Skirts are easy to make,” I said.

Yes. That’s exactly what I said.

When I was in high school and college, I sewed tons of skirts. Well, maybe not tons, but probably three. Or maybe five.  So, I knew what I was talking about.

But the pattern my daughter chose has a zipper. When I said, “skirts are easy” I meant “skirts are easy, unless they have a zipper.”

Because sewing zippers are hard.

Not that I don’t know how to sew a zipper. I am perfectly capable of sewing zippers. My zippering abilities are excellent. It’s just zippers are time consuming and the exact opposite of easy.

But we’ll probably get the skirt cut out tonight. Or, we might just stare at this instead:

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It’s my son’s abstract art exhibit for the art fair.

I’m kidding. It’s the clay my son brought home to re-make his abstract art exhibit for the art fair. He broke the original.

Personally, I’m just glad that I don’t have to make anything out of it.

Especially with a zipper.

Posted in Life's Lessons | Tagged , , , | 5 Comments »

Marching to the Beat of the Same Drummer

October 18, 2009 by Life in the Highlands

Last Tuesday night we sat in the drizzling rain and watched my 15 year old son’s high school marching band perform at a regional competition. They were awesome. Their formations were tight, their knees were not bent, and their pants were hemmed to the appropriate length (high enough to not get wet in a flood).

You could see the performance for yourself, since my daughter filmed it, but I’m not sure how to load the video onto the blog. And anyway, rather than filming the entire band, my daughter focused in on my son. There’s about 10 minutes of him moving left, then right, then to the front, then to the back, then right again, then left….I find it riveting because my son is just that adorable, but it might be a little much for some people.

You’ll have to be satisfied with this picture:

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It’s my son’s hat.

Now imagine a really cute kid wearing that hat (and the rest of his uniform), marching in formation, and playing cool music. That’s exactly like my son’s performance!

His high school took first place in their division.

You know who else took first place in their division? The American Fork High School Marching Band. They were awesome as well.  They swept all awards. The only awards they didn’t win were 2nd and 3rd place, but only because you can’t win 1st, 2nd, and 3rd place all at the same time (although the teams that took 2nd and 3rd place were really good, too).

The music AF performed was a tribute to veterans, and it also included a tribute to Heather Christensen, the teacher who died in the bus crash over the weekend. I’m not sure there was a dry eye in the stadium. It was well worth waiting in the rain to watch.

I would show you AF’s performance, because of course I’ve got footage, but remember, I don’t know how to load the video. Once again, you’ll just have to use your imagination. I just wish I had another picture of a hat.

I do have a picture of a pan:

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It’s not for wearing on the head. I’m showing you this picture because I want you to notice how clean the pan is. Back when I was cooking all that apple stuff, I burned a batch of apples. The bottom of the pan was covered with caked on, burnt gunk. It would not come clean. I soaked it and scrubbed it, but the black remained.

I thought that the only thing the pan was good for now was to turn it upside down and make it into a drum to be used the next time the marching band performed.

My husband had a better idea. He recommended cleaning the pan with a certain soft drink that starts with a “c” and rhymes with joke. I tried it. It worked. We did have to scrub, but all the black came off.

Makes me wonder what the soft drink that starts with a “c” and rhymes with joke does to the lining of the stomach.

I will never drink that stuff again.

Of course, I don’t drink it now.

One bad habit kicked, 35,000 more to go.

Posted in Life's Lessons | Tagged , , | 4 Comments »

A Tribute

October 12, 2009 by Life in the Highlands

How do you thank someone who performed the ultimate sacrifice? How can words express gratitude for someone who gave up her life to save others?

It’s impossible.

My 15 year old son’s best friend (M) from junior high was in a bus crash over the weekend. M’s bus was coming back from a marching band competition when the driver fainted. The woodwind instructor, Heather Christensen, grabbed the wheel to keep the bus on the road. But the bus still veered off and rolled. Christensen was thrown out the windshield and died at the scene. You can read more about the story here.

If it had not been for the teacher, many people believe that the crash would have been much worse. A few of the students were life-flighted, and some were taken by ambulance to the hospital, but no one sustained any life-threatening injuries. No one but Heather Christensen, who died trying to save everyone on the bus.

M lost his cell phone in the crash (which caused much anxiety when he didn’t answer texts), and gained some cuts and bruises, but was otherwise fine (if anyone is ever fine after such an event).

My son and M have been friends since junior high, mostly because they have so much in common. They are both taller than average for their age. They both share the same quirky sense of humor. They both love art. And they are both involved in band.

This year, they went to two different high schools. M lives in the American Fork High School boundaries. AF is a school with a nationally acclaimed marching band. M was excited to perform in it. Since AFHS has open enrollment, my son planned on going there, too. Then, he changed his mind and decided to go to the high school in our boundaries with his older brother and the rest of our neighborhood. (If my son had gone to AFHS, he would have been on that bus.)

Even though they don’t attend the same high school, M and my son have kept in touch with each other through texting and Facebook. We get periodic updates on the AF marching band. We hear how they practice longer than our band does. We hear how they have a much bigger budget. And we hear how they are not allowed to touch the feathers in their helmets unless they are wearing gloves.

And, so, I just wanted to say thanks to Heather Christensen. If not for her quick actions, it’s possible that my son’s friend might not still be alive. Fortunately, now they have many more years to discuss formations, drills, and feathers.

And thanks to her, there are 45 other teenagers whose parents, brothers, sisters, and friends have at least one more precious day to spend with their child, sibling, friend.

While I am so saddened by her death, I am so grateful for her sacrifice.

May we always remember her.

And the One whose ultimate sacrifice saved us all.

Thank you, Heather. You will always be in our hearts.

Posted in Life's Lessons | Tagged , , | 1 Comment »

One More Thing That Makes You Fat

October 8, 2009 by Life in the Highlands

If you are eating an apple a day in the hopes that it will keep the doctor away, I have bad news for you.

My family has been eating lots of apples lately. More than one each a day. My kids like to dip their apples in peanut butter, and one week they ate so many apples that we went through an entire four pound container of peanut butter.

Despite the vast quantity of apples consumed, we’ve had a flu bug migrating from person to person in our house. Last night it was my turn to be sick.

While it is no fun to be sick, there are some benefits. My kids have been waiting on me hand and foot. My oldest son even fixed dinner.

By fixed dinner, I mean he took my credit card (with my permission), bought take-and-bake pizza, and then put it in the oven.

He took it out of the oven, too.

While I don’t think we’ve been sick with the swine flu, I do think I know why this flu is immune to apples. It’s because pigs eat apples.

My grandpa used to raise pigs and he always fed apples to his pigs. He also used to keep a radio in the barn so his pigs could listen to classical music. If I remember right, he said it made them calm and then they got fatter.

(Note to self: Stop listening to classical music.)

If swine eat apples, but still get the flu, it just stands to reason that we can eat apples and still get fat. I mean, get the flu.

So what I don’t understand is why the toilet is always two steps too far away from the person who is throwing up.

And I also don’t understand how someone can make 61 quarts & 7 pints of applesauce, 14 quarts of apple pie filling, 10 pints of freezer apple jam, then give away two boxes full of apples, still have apples on her trees, and yet manage to catch the flu, which might or might not be related to swine.

It’s crazy. You know it’s crazy when you have to start making things like apple jam.

Who’s ever heard of apple jam? But it was in the canning book. And it had the word apple in it. So I made it. And look at this:

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I managed to empty the container full of apples. Just not the apple trees.

Here’s something else I don’t understand:

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Does the dog really need to wear sunglasses?

At night?

Does it help him to avoid seeing how many apples are still left on the trees?

If so, I want a pair.

And in case you are worried about catching the flu (of the swine variety or otherwise), my daughter sanitized the keyboard of my laptop. So, you won’t get it from me.

But I recommend avoiding all swine.

And classical music.

Especially classical music.

Posted in Animal Farm, What's for Dinner | Tagged , , | 4 Comments »

When Life Gives You Apples

October 5, 2009 by Life in the Highlands

The month of October marks a couple of special anniversaries for our family. First of all, nine years ago this month we got our dog Hershey. And two years ago this month we got our other dog Graham Cracker.

To commemorate these important occasions, we made applesauce–61 quarts and seven pints of it.

I’m kidding.

Just not about the applesauce. We really did make 61 quarts and seven pints of applesauce.

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It took us some of Friday afternoon and all day Saturday. The kids picked apples off the trees while my mom and my sister peeled and cut up the apples. The kids and my husband also helped with that.

My job was to cook and bottle the applesauce. By the time we were finished, I never wanted to see another apple again. Ever.

Saturday night I dreamed that I was still canning applesauce. But the real nightmare started when I woke up–because we still had apples.

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Lots of apples.

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I see apple butter, apple jam, and apple pie filling in my future.

But back to the dogs.

For their anniversaries, we did absolutely nothing.

Although we did take Hershey to the vet a couple of weeks ago.

As I’ve mentioned before, Hershey is a half Lab/half Irish Setter mix. Her black fur looks slightly red when she is in the sun.

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She’s now 14 years old. She was five years old when she came to live with us. Her previous people were moving out of state and could not take Hershey with them. If we hadn’t adopted her, she would have gone to the pound.

She is the sweetest dog. She prefers to be outside because she has to wear that warm, long, curly coat all the time. She only comes inside when it is bitterly cold, raining (she hates the lightning and thunder), or right after dinner when there might possibly be good people-food on the floor (which doesn’t happen that often anymore, now that my kids are all older).

But Hershey’s breath stunk. Like death. If we favored oxygen and breathing, we couldn’t be in the same room with her. Very sad.

So, we took her to the vet. He pulled nine of Hershey’s teeth.

Nine!

I was worried she wouldn’t be able to eat at all. But now she’s eating (and acting) better than she has in a couple of years. Her teeth must have really bothered her. I know they bothered us. I think the vet gave Hershey at least two years of her life back.

The vet tested Hershey’s heart and kidneys and declared her “healthy.” He also reminded me twice that “old age is not a disease.”

Good thing, since Hershey is 98 in dog years. Hopefully, she’ll be around for a long time to come.

After all, someone’s got to eat all that applesauce.

Posted in Animal Farm, What's for Dinner | Tagged , , , , | 6 Comments »

5 Reasons to Keep Blogging

September 30, 2009 by Life in the Highlands

Anyone who blogs knows how hard it is to keep writing good content consistently. But take heart—there are reasons to keep on blogging. Well, at least five for me, anyway:

1.) So that my son, who is in college, has something to read during biology class.

My son was “fortunate” enough to enroll in a biology class without a teacher. Well, there is a professor teaching biology in another building, but, for my son’s class, that professor is piped in on t.v. So the class is unsupervised. And has wireless internet access. Which is a good thing because my son has a laptop. For WRITING PAPERS. And, apparently, for logging onto my blog to show the girl who sits next to him pictures of our dogs.

And sometimes, when they are not looking at pictures of our dogs, they read my blog. And find it funny. And completely devoid of anything related to biology.

Which is why I feel the need to share with you another reason for me to keep blogging:

2.) Our apple trees are loaded with apples.

So far we’ve picked over three big bowls and one sack (not pictured) full of apples:

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And we still have lots more on the tree.

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And even more on anther tree:

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And even more on anther tree:

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It’s all reminiscent of the plum problem we had last month. And the apricot problem we had the month before. (Yes, we have nine fruit trees. We are crazy like that.)

But what does that have to do with blogging, you ask? Well, if I were not writing this blog post right now, I would be canning applesauce. Or picking more apples. Or eating apples. (Although I can blog and eat apples at the same time.)

And what does that have to do with biology?

Another good question from the college-age kid in the back with the laptop.

Unfortunately (or fortunately), blogging reason #2 (the one about the apples) has nothing to do with biology. Unless you consider that apples are plants and made up of cells, and something about cells has something to do with mitosis or chromosomes or nuclei, which my son would be able to clarify for us if only he were paying attention in biology.

And another reason for me to keep blogging:

3.) It is the last day of September. If I were to wait until tomorrow (October) to write this post, it would look like I had neglected the blog for four months. Since it is still September, I’ve only missed three months of blogging. (Perception versus reality.)

And another reason:

4.) I just paid $5.80 to renew my blog’s “Who-is Guard” for another two years. So now I have to post at least one more time to get my money’s worth. (That’s if each blog post is worth about $2.40. Okay. Maybe I need to post at least 10 more times.)

(And, in case you don’t know what a “Who-is Guard” is, I’m not going to tell you. Because it is too boring to write about. Let’s just say it keeps spammers from getting my email address.)

And the final reason:

5.) I don’t have a reason #5. But to make up for that, I’ll post some more pictures of our dogs.

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Those pictures are for you, son.

Now start paying attention in class.

Posted in Animal Farm, Life's Lessons, Trials of Blogging | Tagged , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

Top 10 Reasons Why I Haven’t Blogged in Two Months

May 7, 2009 by Life in the Highlands

Some of you have asked me why I haven’t blogged in two months. Here’s 10 excuses–I mean reasons:

10.) The dog ate my laptop.

I was jumping on the trampoline with my laptop (because I take it everywhere) and then I came inside. But I left the laptop outside (because I don’t really take it everywhere) and the dog chewed it up.

Oh, wait. That wasn’t me. That was my son. And it wasn’t a laptop. It was an SP. Or DS. Or PSP. Or whatever portable video game system/demonic device the kids are playing these days. 

But still. I couldn’t blog.

9.) I was farthering my education by taking an editing class.

And I learned that there is a difference between (not among) farther and further (go figure) and that the correct spelling for website is Web site, even though I will continue to write website, because Web site just looks wrong, and wrong is well, not write. I mean right. 

(And yeah, I know. It is furthering my education. So, don’t send me emails. But leave comments. Comments are good.)

8.)  After I stopped posting regularly on my blog, it was easy to continue to not post. And then to continue to not post some more.

7.) My sister wasn’t posting on her blog. And if she didn’t have to write, then neither did I.

6.) I wanted to see how much spam I could accumulate in two months. Final spam count: 73. I had 73 spam comments in my in-box!  My sister only had two. Two! And I had 73! I must be the more popular blogger. 

Or my sister had her spam filter set to automatically delete spam comments after a certain amount of time. Whatever. 

5.) I was doing other stuff. 

Since I first started Life in the Highlands, I have been sucked into that time wasting vortex that is blogging, and I haven’t been doing other things. And so I needed to get other things done. And, I don’t have the capacity to blog while I am doing other things. So, I can either blog and get nothing else done, or get other stuff done, and not blog.

What a conundrum.

4.) It was (and still is) impossible to always write something funny. And if I couldn’t write something funny, I felt like I shouldn’t write anything at all. 

3.) Blogging wasn’t (and still isn’t) paying the bills.

So far, my blog hasn’t helped to get any of my books published. Or sell any of my published books.

And, I don’t make any money off adds on my blog.

Of course, I don’t have any adds on my blog.

And I haven’t written any books.

Which could explain why I haven’t had one published.

And why they don’t sell very well.

That’s probably why I’m not making any money.

Probably.

2.) I can’t dictate when the muse strikes.

And she decided to strike (as in “go on strike”) for the past two months. So, to all (both) of my wonderful, awesome, loyal readers, my recommendation is that you get updates to my blog by email or in an RSS feed reader . Then you will be instantly alerted whenever I have posted something new. Which will probably continue to be erratic. I mean spontaneous. 

And the number one reason why I haven’t blogged in two months:

The blog makes me look fat.

Finally, I would like to say thank you to everyone who encouraged me to keep blogging.

And thank you to those who asked (on their own blogs and on mine) where I was.

And thank you to those (okay, my brother) who sent me emails (okay, one email) that said “I check almost every day… And I know you must be busy… Or maybe you were captured? Abducted by aliens? Moved to Washington DC to become the president’s top speech writer… The dog ate your computers? But… When are you writing a new blog post???”

To my brother:

Right now.

Posted in Trials of Blogging | Tagged , , | 3 Comments »

They Only Come But Once A Year

March 4, 2009 by Life in the Highlands

(It’s that time of the year when, rather than eat a bunch of cookies, a bunch of cookies eat me. And my entire month of March. In other words, it’s Girl Scout Cookie season. I’m re-publishing this post from a year ago.)

Peanut M&M’s are, in my over-experienced candy tasting opinion, the closest mankind has come to creating the perfect candy.

Peanuts (protein, plus the good kind of fat), dipped in chocolate (also good for you), and then coated with a hard candy shell (yum!), so that the chocolate “melts in your mouth, not in your hands.” Sheer genius.

 Except, of course, that M&M’s do melt.

In your hands.

But a little rainbow colored dye on your palms is a small sacrifice to pay for the privilege to consume such a confection. 

If M&M’s are the most perfect candy, then Thin Mint Girl Scout Cookies have to be the most perfect cookie.

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And I’m not just saying that because I have more than 300 boxes of them taking up space in my living room that I have to help sell.

And I’m not just saying that because I’m a leader of a Girl Scout Troop and I’m trying to help my troop earn money by selling those aforementioned cookies.

And I most certainly am not saying that because I am trying to sell cookies over the internet, because that is against the Girl Scout rules, and that would just be wrong, I tell you, wrong!

I’m saying that because I love Thin Mint Girl Scout Cookies. 

Even before I became a Girl Scout leader.

I would see those girls dressed in their brown or green uniforms, selling those cookies outside of a grocery store, and nothing could keep me from heading over to buy a box. Or more.

I was even afraid to put up a “no soliciting” sign on my front door for fear that Girl Scouts would avoid my house when peddling their wares.

When we first got our cookie order two days ago, I tore open a box of Thin Mints, wondering if they would taste as good as I remembered. Would the fact that I’ve consumed more than I should have over the past three years as a troop leader make them any less delectable? Less scrumptious? Less melt in your mouth minty? 

They were just as good as always.

If not better.

They were “extra thin, extra minty!” Just like the brochure promised.  It describes them as “A thin wafer covered with a smooth chocolaty coating. Made with natural peppermint.”

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I describe them as “absolutely perfect.” 

So support a good cause. Buy a box–

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or more–

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from your local Girl Scout troop today. (Just not over the internet, because that would be wrong, I tell you, wrong!)

Your taste buds will be treated to one of the most perfect cookies ever created by mankind.

And I wouldn’t lie to you about that. Scout’s Honor. 

Posted in Surviving Scouts | Tagged , , , , , , | 5 Comments »

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