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Life is Like A Broccoli Smoothie

February 2, 2010 by Life in the Highlands

Every time my son gets his braces tightened, his jaw hurts and he can’t eat solid food. So, he makes smoothies. While pulling ingredients out of the freezer for his liquid meal, he stumbled across a package of frozen broccoli. He dumped some of the green vegetables into the blender, along with the berries and yogurt, thinking broccoli would make the smoothie “healthier.”

My son plans on taking his smoothie recipe on the road and making lots of money from it. It’s going to be a big seller, because who wouldn’t want to buy a drink chock full of vitamins, minerals, and little green floaties?

Okay. Nobody. Because broccoli smoothies are disgusting. At least that’s how my kids described them. I didn’t think mine tasted terrible, but it left a bitter aftertaste that I quickly had to wash down with chocolate covered almonds.

Immediately after realizing that broccoli doesn’t work well in drink form, my son made another batch of smoothies. Without broccoli. The new batch was one of the best smoothies he’d ever made.

So, here’s some of the lessons we learned from the broccoli smoothie:

  • It’s okay to try new things. It might not work, but you will learn something from it.
  • Nothing can mask the taste of broccoli–not even good stuff like berries and yogurt.
  • No matter what you do to broccoli, kids will still not like it.
  • Broccoli smoothies will never be big sellers.
  • Sometimes mistakes lead to brilliant successes, like delicious smoothies.
  • Chocolate tastes better than broccoli.

But why? People should like broccoli, because broccoli is good for you. People who eat broccoli should live longer to have more children who also like broccoli who should also live longer to have more children who also eat broccoli.

And yet, people prefer chocolate.

But drinking the broccoli smoothie also reminded me of a few other important lessons:

  • While we sit in our warm kitchen sipping smoothies, we should be grateful for everything we have, because there are people in Haiti with no food and no warm kitchen.
  • Those starving people would give anything for a smoothie, with or without the broccoli.
  • We should always keep the people of Haiti in our hearts and in our prayers, and do what we can to help.

So, please, keep the people of Haiti in your hearts and in your prayers, and do what you can to help.

Here’s one good place to find out how:

LDS Humanitarian Services

Trust me, it will be much better for your health than drinking a broccoli smoothie, and with no bitter aftertaste.

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I Won’t Say A Word. Not One Word.

January 22, 2010 by Life in the Highlands

I'm Going to the CBC!

Want to have fun, meet other blog-obsessed people, AND learn some techy blog stuff? Then, you need to go to the Casual Blogger Conference! Hosted by Mormon Mommy Blogs and Lea Lou Blogs, the CBC will be held on May 28 in Sandy, Utah. (Click on the above button for more details.)

Despite what that button says, I may or may not be going. It all depends on whether or not the planets align, I find matching socks, and if I can buy an invisibility cloak to wear. After all, I don’t want people to discover that I don’t actually look like the sky, with or without make-up.

Or, I’d go if I won a free ticket. I’d sort socks and reveal my secret identity for that.

But I had to choose between a button that said, “I’m Going” or one that said “I’m Speaking.”

And I am not speaking at the Casual Bloggers Conference.

Which is a crying shame, because I am an expert on blogging. An EXPERT, I tell you.

If I were invited to speak, these are some of the topics I would discuss:

  • How to create the least popular blog in the blogosphere.
  • How to gain a negative amount of subscribers.
  • How to encourage people to not comment on your posts.
  • How to change the look of your blog without improving it.
  • How to write a blog post that even your mother will ignore.

I think these topics would pack in the crowds! PACK THEM IN! Because, after all, if there is anything bloggers crave more than not being popular, it’s to publish their best writing and have no one read it. And I could show them how!

So, Powers That Be at the CBC, you should so choose me to speak at the Casual Bloggers Conference. Then when registration sales decrease and people beg for refunds for previously purchased tickets, you’ll know you did the thing that could have been right, but probably wasn’t.

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Of Sugar and Cookies

January 20, 2010 by Life in the Highlands

Yesterday, our family had to give up Sugar. We are now officially Sugar free.

We miss Sugar already. Because Sugar is sweet. And Sugar is wonderful.

We love Sugar.

I’ve got the shakes just thinking about it. Is there a rehab center for Sugar addicts? A way to overcome the withdrawals?

We will mourn the loss of Sugar.

Although, on the bright side, we are all sleeping much better since Sugar no longer keeps waking us up at night.

Meet Sugar:

She’s a nine week old Golden Retriever being raised for Guide Dogs for the Blind. We were puppy sitting her this past week.

As sweet as the substance she’s named after, Sugar’s easy-going disposition and gentle temperament are only matched by her beauty. I don’t think I’ve ever seen such a pretty puppy. I have no doubt she is going to make an excellent Guide Dog. There is a person somewhere out there whose life she will one day change for the better.

And speaking of something sweet that improves lives, it’s Girl Scout Cookie Time.

To convince you to order Girl Scout cookies, I could write a post discussing how selling cookies teaches girls valuable skills like marketing, leadership, salesmanship, and how to manage money.

Or, I could tell you that the money a troop makes during annual cookie sales will usually cover the cost of patches and awards, and fund the troop’s activities, for the entire year.

Or, I could tell you that girls in our council receive ten dollars worth of cookie credits for every 50 boxes of cookies they sell, which they then can use to purchase uniforms, spend on camp, or pay to attend any other Girl Scout activity.

Instead, I’ll just remind you that some Girl Scout cookies have chocolate and coconut.

Some have chocolate and mint.

Some have chocolate and peanut butter.

All are yummy.

It requires oodles of courage for a girl to go door to door selling cookies. Oodles. But it doesn’t require much courage for you to buy one box of cookies. Or ten.

Like Sugar, you will be making the world a better place, one person at a time.

One girl at a time. One box at a time.

Doing something good for someone else is sweet. And wonderful. And can be an addiction of it’s own. One we never need to have withdrawals from.

No wonder Girl Scout cookies taste so good.

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Mostly Gone, Which Is the Same as Somewhat Here

December 6, 2009 by Life in the Highlands

Does it look like a ghost town around here? Did the sheriff vacate the premises and allow the outlaws/spammers to take over?

I think I just saw a tumbleweed blow by.

So, I haven’t written a post for about a month. In my defense, your honor, I have been doing lots of behind the blog stuff.

For instance,

  • I changed my blog’s background. Now it takes hours for the page to load. (But it looks pretty.) Has it finished loading, yet? I am so sorry. (Did I mention that it looks pretty?)
  • I updated the About page. Read it, if you dare. One might say it’s slightly not boring, and goes well with cheese.
  • I turned on the snow. The other reason you are still waiting for the page to load. (But it looks pretty.) And I feel like a superhero because I can CONTROL THE WEATHER. (Update: The snow has been turned off now. Sad.)
  • I joined the Facebook group “I was going to write a post, but ended up rearranging my sidebar.” Okay. Not a real FB group. But it should be. Because I do this ALL the time.

I also have been doing lots of unrelated to blogging stuff like,

  • not decorating the Christmas tree.

My daughter and her friends assembled the tree, put the lights on the tree, and decorated it–without my help!!! Yay! I might start enjoying Christmas again.

  • burning down the house.

Actually, it was just another science fair project. My daughter was setting fire to nuts to boil water. The house was never in any danger, but I sure hope the nuts had a good life insurance policy.

  • sewing up a storm. Because, did I mention, I can CONTROL THE WEATHER. By sewing. But I’ll tell you all about it in another post.

Which will hopefully be sooner than a month from now.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to rustle up some spammers and chase them out of town.

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And Puppy Makes Three

November 10, 2009 by Life in the Highlands

Any person of sound mind knows that if one looks up chaos in the dictionary, one would find the definition “the confused unorganized state existing when people, who already have two dogs, get another.”

Yes, yes we did.

But it’s not what you’re thinking.

Unless you’re thinking that we got a third dog. Then it’s exactly what you’re thinking.

“I promise, mom, I’ll clean my room and do my homework and scrub the bathrooms and eat all my vegetables and eat all your vegetables–if you’ll just let me keep him.”

Okay, nobody said that–since no amount of begging, pleading, or eating of vegetables would have convinced me to keep the dog.

Mostly because he wasn’t ours to keep. We were just puppy sitting Moseley (a seven month old yellow lab) for the weekend.

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We were puppy sitting Moseley because he is a special dog. Not special because he has a sweet spirit (although he does), but special because he is important. When his raisers go out of town, he has to be watched by special people (who have sweet spirits) rather than left in the backyard or kennel.

Moseley is a future Guide Dog for the Blind (GDB).

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And my daughter is hoping to raise a GDB puppy of her own. One of the requirements for getting your own GDB puppy to raise is to puppy sit other GDB puppies. So, while Moseley’s raisers were out of town, we were puppy sitting him.

Which, in case you haven’t been doing the math, meant we had three dogs, one cat, five kids, two adults and a whole lot of chaos.

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But everywhere we took Moseley (the grocery store, the mall, three hours of church), he was well-behaved and accident free. Good thing, too, since he drew a lot of attention wherever we went.

Overall, I’m putting the experience in the win column. My daughter learned first-hand the responsibility of taking care of a Guide Dog puppy. (You can read more about that here.) I learned that three dogs might sound like only one more than two, but, when you figure in the chaos and the square footage of our house, it’s more like 30.

The jury is still out on whether or not we will get a GDB puppy of our own. For now, we’ll just keep puppy sitting.

So bring on the chaos, I say. Calm is overrated, anyway.

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The Great Pumpkin Doesn’t Live Here Anymore

October 21, 2009 by Life in the Highlands

For Halloween, our family loves to decorate. Notice this frightening display on our front porch:

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Scary. Doesn’t it give you chills? But wait. There’s more.

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Okay. These are not Halloween decorations. These are plants I haven’t watered since early September. My bad.

Usually, though, by this time of the year, I’ve replaced the dead plants with pumpkins and Halloween decorations. My 9 year old keeps asking when we are going to put out all that stuff. I figure if I hold her off one more week, I won’t have to decorate at all. It’s a good plan.

As an added bonus, I hear that kids don’t trick or treat at houses lacking Halloween paraphernalia. I’d like to test out that rumor. Kind of like my own personal version of MythBusters.

I’ll let you know how that goes.

I’ve also told my daughter that I plan on sending her out trick or treating early in the afternoon on Halloween, and then filling our candy dish with the candy she brings back. So not decorating means less kids trick or treating at our house, which means more candy for her. She should thank me for my lack of Halloween spirit.

Even though I haven’t decorated for Halloween, I have just about finished sewing all my kids’ costumes.

Mostly because my 13 year old is wearing the same poodle skirt I made for a 50’s dance number she did in Elementary school two years ago.

And my 9 year old’s magician costume only required that I sew a cape (which took about an hour), because we already had the hat, wand, and rabbit.

Two costumes down, one more to go: I still have to sew a zigzag stripe on a yellow t-shirt for a Charlie Brown costume. Never let it be said that I don’t go the extra mile for Halloween.

I also have to sew my daughter’s skirt for her band concert next week. She needs a black, plain, longish skirt. We looked at stores all over but couldn’t find a skirt that met all the criteria.

Finally, I told her we could sew one for her.

“Skirts are easy to make,” I said.

Yes. That’s exactly what I said.

When I was in high school and college, I sewed tons of skirts. Well, maybe not tons, but probably three. Or maybe five.  So, I knew what I was talking about.

But the pattern my daughter chose has a zipper. When I said, “skirts are easy” I meant “skirts are easy, unless they have a zipper.”

Because sewing zippers are hard.

Not that I don’t know how to sew a zipper. I am perfectly capable of sewing zippers. My zippering abilities are excellent. It’s just zippers are time consuming and the exact opposite of easy.

But we’ll probably get the skirt cut out tonight. Or, we might just stare at this instead:

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It’s my son’s abstract art exhibit for the art fair.

I’m kidding. It’s the clay my son brought home to re-make his abstract art exhibit for the art fair. He broke the original.

Personally, I’m just glad that I don’t have to make anything out of it.

Especially with a zipper.

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Marching to the Beat of the Same Drummer

October 18, 2009 by Life in the Highlands

Last Tuesday night we sat in the drizzling rain and watched my 15 year old son’s high school marching band perform at a regional competition. They were awesome. Their formations were tight, their knees were not bent, and their pants were hemmed to the appropriate length (high enough to not get wet in a flood).

You could see the performance for yourself, since my daughter filmed it, but I’m not sure how to load the video onto the blog. And anyway, rather than filming the entire band, my daughter focused in on my son. There’s about 10 minutes of him moving left, then right, then to the front, then to the back, then right again, then left….I find it riveting because my son is just that adorable, but it might be a little much for some people.

You’ll have to be satisfied with this picture:

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It’s my son’s hat.

Now imagine a really cute kid wearing that hat (and the rest of his uniform), marching in formation, and playing cool music. That’s exactly like my son’s performance!

His high school took first place in their division.

You know who else took first place in their division? The American Fork High School Marching Band. They were awesome as well.  They swept all awards. The only awards they didn’t win were 2nd and 3rd place, but only because you can’t win 1st, 2nd, and 3rd place all at the same time (although the teams that took 2nd and 3rd place were really good, too).

The music AF performed was a tribute to veterans, and it also included a tribute to Heather Christensen, the teacher who died in the bus crash over the weekend. I’m not sure there was a dry eye in the stadium. It was well worth waiting in the rain to watch.

I would show you AF’s performance, because of course I’ve got footage, but remember, I don’t know how to load the video. Once again, you’ll just have to use your imagination. I just wish I had another picture of a hat.

I do have a picture of a pan:

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It’s not for wearing on the head. I’m showing you this picture because I want you to notice how clean the pan is. Back when I was cooking all that apple stuff, I burned a batch of apples. The bottom of the pan was covered with caked on, burnt gunk. It would not come clean. I soaked it and scrubbed it, but the black remained.

I thought that the only thing the pan was good for now was to turn it upside down and make it into a drum to be used the next time the marching band performed.

My husband had a better idea. He recommended cleaning the pan with a certain soft drink that starts with a “c” and rhymes with joke. I tried it. It worked. We did have to scrub, but all the black came off.

Makes me wonder what the soft drink that starts with a “c” and rhymes with joke does to the lining of the stomach.

I will never drink that stuff again.

Of course, I don’t drink it now.

One bad habit kicked, 35,000 more to go.

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A Tribute

October 12, 2009 by Life in the Highlands

How do you thank someone who performed the ultimate sacrifice? How can words express gratitude for someone who gave up her life to save others?

It’s impossible.

My 15 year old son’s best friend (M) from junior high was in a bus crash over the weekend. M’s bus was coming back from a marching band competition when the driver fainted. The woodwind instructor, Heather Christensen, grabbed the wheel to keep the bus on the road. But the bus still veered off and rolled. Christensen was thrown out the windshield and died at the scene. You can read more about the story here.

If it had not been for the teacher, many people believe that the crash would have been much worse. A few of the students were life-flighted, and some were taken by ambulance to the hospital, but no one sustained any life-threatening injuries. No one but Heather Christensen, who died trying to save everyone on the bus.

M lost his cell phone in the crash (which caused much anxiety when he didn’t answer texts), and gained some cuts and bruises, but was otherwise fine (if anyone is ever fine after such an event).

My son and M have been friends since junior high, mostly because they have so much in common. They are both taller than average for their age. They both share the same quirky sense of humor. They both love art. And they are both involved in band.

This year, they went to two different high schools. M lives in the American Fork High School boundaries. AF is a school with a nationally acclaimed marching band. M was excited to perform in it. Since AFHS has open enrollment, my son planned on going there, too. Then, he changed his mind and decided to go to the high school in our boundaries with his older brother and the rest of our neighborhood. (If my son had gone to AFHS, he would have been on that bus.)

Even though they don’t attend the same high school, M and my son have kept in touch with each other through texting and Facebook. We get periodic updates on the AF marching band. We hear how they practice longer than our band does. We hear how they have a much bigger budget. And we hear how they are not allowed to touch the feathers in their helmets unless they are wearing gloves.

And, so, I just wanted to say thanks to Heather Christensen. If not for her quick actions, it’s possible that my son’s friend might not still be alive. Fortunately, now they have many more years to discuss formations, drills, and feathers.

And thanks to her, there are 45 other teenagers whose parents, brothers, sisters, and friends have at least one more precious day to spend with their child, sibling, friend.

While I am so saddened by her death, I am so grateful for her sacrifice.

May we always remember her.

And the One whose ultimate sacrifice saved us all.

Thank you, Heather. You will always be in our hearts.

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One More Thing That Makes You Fat

October 8, 2009 by Life in the Highlands

If you are eating an apple a day in the hopes that it will keep the doctor away, I have bad news for you.

My family has been eating lots of apples lately. More than one each a day. My kids like to dip their apples in peanut butter, and one week they ate so many apples that we went through an entire four pound container of peanut butter.

Despite the vast quantity of apples consumed, we’ve had a flu bug migrating from person to person in our house. Last night it was my turn to be sick.

While it is no fun to be sick, there are some benefits. My kids have been waiting on me hand and foot. My oldest son even fixed dinner.

By fixed dinner, I mean he took my credit card (with my permission), bought take-and-bake pizza, and then put it in the oven.

He took it out of the oven, too.

While I don’t think we’ve been sick with the swine flu, I do think I know why this flu is immune to apples. It’s because pigs eat apples.

My grandpa used to raise pigs and he always fed apples to his pigs. He also used to keep a radio in the barn so his pigs could listen to classical music. If I remember right, he said it made them calm and then they got fatter.

(Note to self: Stop listening to classical music.)

If swine eat apples, but still get the flu, it just stands to reason that we can eat apples and still get fat. I mean, get the flu.

So what I don’t understand is why the toilet is always two steps too far away from the person who is throwing up.

And I also don’t understand how someone can make 61 quarts & 7 pints of applesauce, 14 quarts of apple pie filling, 10 pints of freezer apple jam, then give away two boxes full of apples, still have apples on her trees, and yet manage to catch the flu, which might or might not be related to swine.

It’s crazy. You know it’s crazy when you have to start making things like apple jam.

Who’s ever heard of apple jam? But it was in the canning book. And it had the word apple in it. So I made it. And look at this:

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I managed to empty the container full of apples. Just not the apple trees.

Here’s something else I don’t understand:

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Does the dog really need to wear sunglasses?

At night?

Does it help him to avoid seeing how many apples are still left on the trees?

If so, I want a pair.

And in case you are worried about catching the flu (of the swine variety or otherwise), my daughter sanitized the keyboard of my laptop. So, you won’t get it from me.

But I recommend avoiding all swine.

And classical music.

Especially classical music.

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When Life Gives You Apples

October 5, 2009 by Life in the Highlands

The month of October marks a couple of special anniversaries for our family. First of all, nine years ago this month we got our dog Hershey. And two years ago this month we got our other dog Graham Cracker.

To commemorate these important occasions, we made applesauce–61 quarts and seven pints of it.

I’m kidding.

Just not about the applesauce. We really did make 61 quarts and seven pints of applesauce.

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It took us some of Friday afternoon and all day Saturday. The kids picked apples off the trees while my mom and my sister peeled and cut up the apples. The kids and my husband also helped with that.

My job was to cook and bottle the applesauce. By the time we were finished, I never wanted to see another apple again. Ever.

Saturday night I dreamed that I was still canning applesauce. But the real nightmare started when I woke up–because we still had apples.

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Lots of apples.

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I see apple butter, apple jam, and apple pie filling in my future.

But back to the dogs.

For their anniversaries, we did absolutely nothing.

Although we did take Hershey to the vet a couple of weeks ago.

As I’ve mentioned before, Hershey is a half Lab/half Irish Setter mix. Her black fur looks slightly red when she is in the sun.

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She’s now 14 years old. She was five years old when she came to live with us. Her previous people were moving out of state and could not take Hershey with them. If we hadn’t adopted her, she would have gone to the pound.

She is the sweetest dog. She prefers to be outside because she has to wear that warm, long, curly coat all the time. She only comes inside when it is bitterly cold, raining (she hates the lightning and thunder), or right after dinner when there might possibly be good people-food on the floor (which doesn’t happen that often anymore, now that my kids are all older).

But Hershey’s breath stunk. Like death. If we favored oxygen and breathing, we couldn’t be in the same room with her. Very sad.

So, we took her to the vet. He pulled nine of Hershey’s teeth.

Nine!

I was worried she wouldn’t be able to eat at all. But now she’s eating (and acting) better than she has in a couple of years. Her teeth must have really bothered her. I know they bothered us. I think the vet gave Hershey at least two years of her life back.

The vet tested Hershey’s heart and kidneys and declared her “healthy.” He also reminded me twice that “old age is not a disease.”

Good thing, since Hershey is 98 in dog years. Hopefully, she’ll be around for a long time to come.

After all, someone’s got to eat all that applesauce.

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